You are the girl for me

You are the girl for me.

I know we don’t share the same dream

But if what I see in the future for us two comes true

Then we’ll make one hell of a team.

 

You are the girl of my dream.

The one who makes my heart beats true.

I would lay my life on the line

For you, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do

 

With just your touch, you’ve captured my heart

In love I was drowning from the very start

And still to this day with you

Still, you haven’t the slightest clue.

 

Regardless…you are the girl for me

 

~The Elimist~

Status Quo is Not an Option

They say the age of dreamers is long gone and what remains are just remnant of a time long forgotten. A time where we as a nation dared to push the boundaries because we truly believed “this” was not enough. New way of doing things, new ways of thinking, and all of these gave birth to what we have today. The question then becomes, when did we lose our vision and became complacent? We sit atop the accomplishments of our parents and their parents expecting the world to bow down and serve us. We all have been getting plump from the spoils of the past, our senses have dulled, and we have lost connection with what made this nation great. When did status quo become an option?

In classroom, subject areas are being pruned to such an extreme that some don’t even offer Fine Arts anymore. The areas which spark creativity in the mind of adolescents are slowly being removed…why? We tell our children to reach for the star, dream big, all while programming them into mindless drone all for one purpose, to pass a bloody state exam. Where does that leave us against the students of other nations such as China, Germany, and France?

Questions leading to more questions with no solution in sight have become the norm. We as American have stopped asking “why” and are now asking “what” because we choose not to know, to remain ignorant. We choose to live within this false bubble where we tell ourselves that we are “protected” from the quarrels of the world “outside”.  So we detached ourselves, only to poke our heads out when something threatens the integrity of our bubble.  A good example is the current Ebola epidemic that started in Guinea December 2013; so far a little over 4,900 people have been claimed by this virus. The first case in the USA was reported on September 30, 2014 and it was at that moment “we” decided to make this epidemic news worthy. Since then, hospitals have been taking extra measure to prepare for a virus that has already claimed the lives of thousand. This bubble of ours is not impenetrable.

Aside from this current event, there are other topics that just seem to fade when brought up in conversation. Our once great space program (NASA) is almost none existent. Today’s media is saturated with half-truths and to make matter worse, we are willing to be spoon fed it. Our “elected” official all seem to have their own agenda, and no matter how much air time it get, “Race” always seems to be an issue.

We have become a nation of the misguided leading the blind. With our chest puffed up, we wear our arrogance as a coat of armor smiling at the world as we try to mask our shortcomings but there are few of us who are not fooled. We have seen the coming darkness and if things continue as they are now, I’m afraid this hole we are digging for ourselves will be too deep to climb out of.

So what must we do to change course? First thing we need stop ignoring our past as if it is some kind of disease. We relish the glories of the past but we have forgotten about all of the failures that lead to those great triumphs.  Watergate, Vietnam, Black Tuesday, the Great Recession, the list goes on and on. What have we learned from these that could point us in the direction to solving today’s issues such as gun control, the poverty gap, government corruption, and so forth.  Next we must equip ourselves with the tools necessary to make these changes. Whether it be increasing funding for science or re-instating courses that’ll allow kids to tap into their creative sides, if we hope to make any progress tomorrow we cannot wait another minute to take action.

True, you are one but we are many. Change starts first with the individual and then becomes a movement; let us be the change we want to see. Spend more time reading/researching, encourage others to do the same. Share news and finding to spark up conversations. On social media ask a question about life or a topic to get others to share their ideas/thoughts. If there is something you have wanted to learn, go for it. Why wait! Do the same for your child. After school activities, music, sports, clubs, the options are limitless. We can’t wait for others to show us the way, it is time for the Dreamers of the 21st Century to wake up and get moving. As a nation we have been blind for too long, our hands have been idle, let us get up and do. Status quo is not an option!

Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world.  – Joel A. Barker

 

~The Elimist~

Live to Lead, Lead by Example

We live in a world that offers to its inhabitants everything. We are told the sky is the limit and we should always strive to be more than what we are. There exists multiple ways of doing so and with it comes the judgment of others. Sadly, we do not always receive the proper guidance of how to do things and as a result we sometimes live by trial and error.

Growing up, I remember being asked, which male figure inspires me the most. Honestly, I had to find out if they meant both dead and alive because I had no one alive who really inspired me. In the little bubble that I resided in (called the ghetto), the male figures were alcoholics, drug dealers, womanizers, and liars. Most of them were not going anywhere in life and would live and die in the same bubble. I’m not sure how I resisted their trap of being “cool” but thank God I did.

You know how misery loves company, the kids my age were all being sucked into gangs and groups because that was the way to go if you wanted any social standing, the girls, the quick money and boy was money hard to come by so kids did what they had to do. Who wouldn’t want extra cash in their pocket! The jobs were easy, school was in the same direction, just put this bag in your back pack and take it to this house 3 blocks from the school house; a quick $20. Back in the days, that went a long way…especially for a 7 year old.

You may look at this situation and say “where were the parents”, oh they were here. Some were too messed up to realize what was going on. But most of the time, the parents were working two, three jobs in order to pay bills and put food on the table. Fathers were a rare sight. So you tell me, what male figure you wanted me to say I looked up to?  Those on TV was even worse and seemed unrealistic, I was not taught to lie.

It wasn’t until I stopped searching and started being the person I couldn’t find, that is when i realized how devastating freedom without direction can be. We are given the world with countless ways of obtaining it. With no direction of how to do so, most fall short and even worst dead because of mainly one reason, they did not have someone to show them how, they did not have someone to look up to, to say this is not the right path. Mom tried and to some extent succeeded but with two jobs and multiple mouths to feed, it is only so much Super Mom could do. So I said to myself, just because I do not have a mentor, a life coach, a father…does not mean I can’t be one for someone else.

By surrounding myself with smart, motivated friends I kept myself out of trouble. In doing so, I was able to be myself without the fear of being rejected. Eventually, people started to notice and like a magnet, it attracted people to me. Slowly those people felt like they had a stake in my friends’ life, my life because they realize we had the potential of defying the norm and actually make something out of ourselves. The most important person out of this bunch is the man I consider to be my first mentor…Spencer.

Spencer is a leader in my church back at home and he is the man in charge of the youth in the church. No easy task because there were a lot of us, each with our own issues and yet he made time for us all. It took me a while to trust him but his words brought me out of a lot of issues. He made the effort to take me to and from church and encouraged me to chase my dreams if it is my heart’s desire. What he really didn’t know is that at that moment, I really wanted to be like him. Have a career, a beautiful family, and a giving heart. Before I left for college, I remember him telling me “Rob, there will be three important choices that you will make that will shape your future…the school (education) you choose to graduate from, the career you choose, and the person you will marry. It amazes me how the one thing I did not have, the one thing I stopped searching for, I finally found.

Still this does not mean I should stop being who I am; I still have a mission to complete. See, there aren’t a lot of people in the world like Spencer; A person that will make time for someone not even of their blood. Sitting in the car with him in front of my apartment were one of my favorite moments because I knew he was listening and cared. Funny thing is that Spencer didn’t even have to speak to me; he would still be considered the person I looked up to. I am big into observation and ever since I stepped foot into that church, he was always on my radar. Did you know that Spencer? Now that I think more about it, it is amazing just how valuable actions are. Even now when I go back to visit, I can feel the little kids looking up at me, trying to see if I am the same person I was before I left for school (because you know…school can change you). Even the adults did the same but not for inspiration, but to be the judge.

Everyone deserves to have a ‘Spencer’ in their life, someone who they could just look to for reassurance, a person who is approachable, and a person who isn’t afraid to tell you to correct yourself. With there being countless ways of obtaining what the world has to offer, it would not hurt to have a reference point or a game plan. I know it has benefited me a lot and I value it because I know what is like to not have one. I pray that by living on this earth if it is anything I do, I want to be a point of reference for someone, anyone. I want to live a life that shows there is a way of doing things that does not involves drugs, stealing, cheating, lying…there is a life out there worth living.

If there were a way to record my life and redistribute it to the kids living in the one parent home, all of the adopted kids, all of the children growing up in poverty…I want them to see that there is a way out. Sadly, my life is live and I would need a film crew by my side each second which is not possible at this moment, so instead I will stick to my pen and paper (in this case, my laptop) and record my story. I am nobody but a boy who has been blessed enough to find friends that cared, a mom who was dedicated, and a mentor/friend who was there for me when I needed it most. I hope there are more like me out there and if you feel you are one, live your life like an open book so that all the children of the world can read and take notes.  Live to lead…lead by example…

 

~The Elimist~

Creating Your Own Prison: The Three Stage Process

According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of Prison is “a state of confinement or captivity”.  If you ask anyone [randomly] what does prison mean to them, you will most likely get a response like “a place where bad people (criminals) go” or just a description of what a prison cell is like (dark, lonely, etc). Here is my definition, a prison is your perception…in other words, how you see things.  

Growing up, i am pretty sure we all have heard of the glass being half empty, half full analogy or maybe even the world is your oyster. These were things i would hear from my grade school teachers. “Anything is possible/you can become what ever you want to be” were the common ones. “What do you want to be when you grow up” i remember my first grade teacher asking me. My response was everything! Why? Because at that time i felt like i could do it all. Well…that was until i was exposed to the “real world”. 

I am not sure when this occurred by i started realizing one by one, the people i grew up with, were either being killed or going to jail. I started listening to music that spoke about oppression, and i would read. I found knowledge in books and gained understanding every time i turned on the television to watched the news. Another black crime, another black teen arrested for drug possession, the list goes on and i came to a conclusion that for some reason my race was not compatible with society.  Realization….this is stage one. 

This was nothing intentional and the process took years to complete but once the thought was there…it took a lot of effort to change it. I knew i had about a 40% chance of graduating high school, especially with my back ground (single parent home, raised in a gang filled neighborhood), it was only a matter of time before i too was either in Jail or dead.  I made no effort to resist. Acceptance…this is Stage two. 

Stage three is actually living according to the prison. Luckily i never reached this staged. I was fortunate to have found a group of friends who too knew about oppression and about the “confinements” that society have “place on blacks”. Only difference is that they have chosen not to live according to it. Slowly, i began to do the same. I resisted the urge of not wanting to try hard. In doing so i made it my life goal to defy the stereotypes that have been placed upon me since the day i left my mother’s womb. Here i am, 22 years later, months away from getting two degrees, working, and most importantly living not just for myself, but as an example. 

Not all prisons are the same, but they all follow the same process. First you must realize a situation. It could be something physical, mental, or even social. What ever it may be, you have to recognize it. This is then followed by stage two which is accepting this realization to be true. By doing so you are not only limiting what you could do about it, but it creates (slowly) a comfort level where you no longer have the will/urge to resist and inevitably you will live according to this prison that you have now completed, the third and final stage.

Perhaps knowing this will make no difference for you. Maybe you just don’t care anymore. I hope this is not the case. I hope that now you are examining your very own prisons (yes…you can be in multiple prisons) and thinking, how can i get out of it.  The solution is simple, reverse the process. Stop living according to the wills of the prison and resist. Make the necessary changes and they you will realize that the old truth you were living in, is invalid. For the most part this is something that can be done alone but for bigger issues like the one i was in, it will take a mixture of family, friends, and the most important ingredient “you”,  to successfully dismantle a prison. 

Remember, a prison is not only a physical place, it is also something we humans create daily, in our mind. We limit our growth, potential, and as a result..kill hope. Let us all dismantle the prisons we have created, only then can we truly be free.

“Within yourself deliverance must be searched for, because each man makes his own prison.” – Edwin Arnold

~The Elimist~